I celebrated my 16th wedding anniversary this month and it was such a treat for Tracy and me to reflect back on that autumn afternoon in Florida in 1993. The guest list was amazing — Millie the Model was there, so was Tony Stark and Captain America — but it was a pretty bumpy day, too; Doctor Doom used some gizmo to send an attacking army of super-villains with Kang, Electro, the Super Skrull, even some guy called the Melter. Oh wait, that’s not right. That wasn’t my wedding day, that was the nuptials for Reed Richards and Sue Storm in Fantastic Four annual No. 3 from 1965. Sometimes I get … confused. But the new pills are helping. The Onion would understand. Here’s an excerpt from one of their news stories … — Geoff Boucher
LA CROSSE, WI—Returning to his hometown to attend a cousin’s wedding Saturday, Josh Sundling, 29, reportedly demonstrated on numerous occasions a vast, far more intricate understanding of the fictional Marvel Comics Universe than of his own family’s genealogy.
Sundling, who cannot identify his ancestral homeland or the meaning of his surname, possesses extensive knowledge of the creation of superhero teams, the history of imaginary alien races, and the special powers of countless characters.
“We’re from Sweden or Norway or somewhere around there,” said Sundling, who when prompted can accurately detail the origins of each cartoon member of the X-Men, the Avengers, the Defenders, and the Squadron Supreme. “I don’t know for sure. I never really asked about it.”
Though Sundling reportedly reread several issues of Moon Knight recently and found himself enjoying the subplot of the hero’s romantic involvement with Tigra, it is believed he did not realize his cousin was dating anyone until he received an invitation to the wedding …
THERE’S MORE, READ THE REST
MORE RANDOM SILLINESS
VIDEO: Iron Man vs. Bruce Lee
Photo: The Onion