When good things happen to bad culture

July 30, 2008 | 12:58 a.m.

Point_2Comic-Con International 2008 is over, and to celebrate five days of sensory overload, here is a pop-culture quiz that is completely shallow and fun. I put it together with one of my colleagues at the The Times, Martin Miller. You can find the answers after the jump. It was part of a “Guilty Pleasures” issue of the Calendar section, which on Sunday took a break from its usual sophistication and celebrated the most overripe fruits plucked from of the gaudy basket of pop culture. Here’s the quiz:

1) Sure, no one went to see the 1995 film “Showgirls” at the theater, but a lot of people sure wanted to take a look at Paul Verhoeven’s strip-club epic when it hit DVD. It became so popular for parties that MGM released a VIP edition in 2004 with some intriguing extras. Which item below was not included in that special $40 box set?

A. Pink, fuzzy handcuffs

B. A blindfold

C. Pasties with tassels

D. Shot glasses

2) On Oct. 3, 1990, East and West Germany reunified, but real history was made the very next day when “Beverly Hills, 90210” premiered and forever changed the way we view love, friendship and ZIP Codes. Which of the following characters was not in that first episode?

A. Dylan McKay (Luke Perry)

B. Brenda Walsh (Shannen Doherty)

C. Donna Martin (Tori Spelling)

D. Steve Sanders (Ian Ziering)

E. Kelly Taylor (Jennie Garth)

3) Hunky Italian model Fabio is a true Renaissance man: The onetime TV pitchman for “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter” also designs women’s fashions that are sold at Sam’s Club. Best of all, he can write, with real words and everything! “His shoulders were broad and powerful, his flowing white shirt half open, giving her a provocative glimpse of a smooth, bronzed, splendidly muscled chest …”

That’s from his 1994 book “Rogue.” Which of the following is not a book written by Fabio?

A. “Viking”

B. “Comanche”

C. “Pirate”

D. “Matador”

4) Forget Yoda. When faced with life’s riddles, ask yourself: What would Patrick Swayze do? To learn the Tao of Swayze, match each of these “pearls of Patrick” to the famous film it came from: “Dirty Dancing,” “Point Break,” “Road House” or “Red Dawn.”

A. “Fear hesitation and hesitation will cause your worst fears to come true.”

B. “It’s kind of strange, isn’t it? How the mountains pay us no attention at all? You laugh or you cry … the wind just keeps on blowing.”

C. “Pain don’t hurt.”

D. “This is my dance space. This is your dance space. I don’t go into yours, you don’t go into mine.”

5) How far back does your spandex memory stretch? There are five hair bands listed below. Which one is mismatched with its hit song?

A. Ratt “Round and Round”

B. Warrant “Heaven”

C. Cinderella “Nobody’s Fool”

D. Whitesnake “Once Bitten, Twice Shy”

E. Poison “Every Rose Has Its Thorn”

6) In the 1970s, no one even bothered hiding their guilty pleasures. A Taste of Honey, for instance, actually won the Grammy for best new artist of 1978 (beating, among others, that grumpy Elvis Costello fellow). What was the L.A. disco group’s biggest hit?

A. “My Boogie Shoes”

B. “Boogie Nights”

C. “Boogie on Reggae Woman”

D. “Boogie Oogie Oogie”

E. “Jungle Boogie”

7) The Disney Channel revived “The Mickey Mouse Club” in 1989 and by its sixth season it was stacked with talent – Christina Aguilera, Justin Timberlake, Keri Russell, Britney Spears and J.C. Chasez. Which one of the following actors also wore the ears during that magical season?

A. Orlando Bloom

B. Seth Rogen

C. Shia LaBeouf

D. Ryan Gosling

E. Seth Green

8) Which one of these beloved Barneys locked up the entire town because he was “going by the book”?

A. Barney Miller

B. Barnaby Jones

C. Barney Fife

D. Barney Rubble

E. Barney the purple dinosaur

9) Which outer-space alien possessed a singular ability to annoy its poor Earthling hosts but apparently not the humans watching at home?

A. Mork from “Mork & Mindy”

B. Alf from “Alf”

C. Dick from “3rd Rock From the Sun”

D. Uncle Martin from “My Favorite Martian”

E. All of the above

10) Muscle man Arnold Schwarzenegger is the governor of California and muscle man Jesse Ventura held the same job in Minnesota. That’s not all they have in common. The two have been in films together on several occasions. Which of the films below did not feature both of the brawny thespians?

A. “The Running Man”

B. “Raw Deal”

C. “Predator”

D. “Batman & Robin”

11) “The Love Boat” was not like a box of chocolates -– you knew exactly what you were going to get week after week after week after … Cpt. Merrill Stubing in white shorts, loads of love and a galaxy of guest stars! Which of these performers never boarded the fabled Pacific Princess?

A. Burt Reynolds

B. Tony Danza

C. Courteney Cox

D. Kathy Bates

E. Martin Short

F. Heather Locklear

12) Which of the following was not the cliffhanger of a “Dallas” season finale?

A. Sue Ellen escapes from a sanitarium, gets drunk and goes into early labor

B. Cliff Barnes finds the dead body of a woman in the Ewing pool and thinks J.R. did it

C. Miss Ellie decides to leave Jock and accidentally sets the Ewing mansion on fire

D. Pam finds Bobby in the shower and realizes that the entire season has been a dream

E. All of the above

13) U.K. singer James Blunt had the massive 2005 hit “You’re Beautiful,” which was voted the most annoying song ever recorded in a Yahoo poll about British music. It’s a wimpy song but pretty-boy Blunt actually had a tough-guy previous career. What was it?

A. A British army officer in Kosovo

B. An elite karate instructor in Scotland

C. A welding specialist on an oil rig in Bolivia

D. A search-and-rescue worker in the Alps

14) In March 2005, New York City Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg signed a proclamation that set aside a day honoring a great entertainment success that, he said, “calls us to reflect upon the great promise that has attracted so many hardworking dreamers of every ethnicity to our shores.” What was it?

A. “Perfect Strangers”

B. “Borat”

C. “Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle”

D. “Riverdance”

E. The Spice Girls

15) Which of the following is the correct order of hand placements for dancing the Macarena?

A. Hips, shoulders, head

B. Head, hips, shoulders

C. Shoulders, head, hips

D. Head, shoulders, knees and toes

16) Back in 1982, long before there was “Superbad” or “American Pie,” America peeked into the girls’ locker room with “Porky’s.” The film featured an early role for Kim Cattrall (of “Sex and the City” fame) as a young lady who was especially noisy during intimate moments. What was that character’s nickname?

A. Air Raid

B. Lassie

C. Old Faithful

D. Mona Moaner

17) Which of the following titular couples were married? (Hint: There’s more than one correct answer.)

A. Dharma and Greg

B. Scarecrow and Mrs. King

C. Jake and the Fatman

D. Will and Grace

E. B.J. and the Bear

18) What medical show’s staff was traumatized by having to treat a couple literally stuck together in a very compromising position?

A. “ER”

B. “Doogie Howser, M.D.”

C. “St. Elsewhere”

D. “Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman”

E. “Grey’s Anatomy”

19) Finish the lyric to “Livin’ la Vida Loca,” Ricky Martin’s No. 1 hit from 1999. “She’ll make you take your clothes off and go dancing in the rain / She’ll make you live her crazy life but she’ll take away your pain … ”

A. “And you’re the one to blame.”

B. “You’re a moth drawn to her flame.”

C. “Like a bullet to your brain.”

D. “She’s a really kooky dame.”

All answers after the jump.

– Geoff Boucher

Photo from “Point Beak” (1991) courtesy of 20th Century-Fox

1. A

2. A

3. D

4. A (“Point Break”) B (“Red Dawn”) C (“Road House”) D (“Dirty Dancing”)

5. D. That’s Great White’s hit.

6. D

7. D

8. C

9. E

10. B

11. A

12. C

13. A

14. D

15. C

16. B

17. A and B

18. E

19. C

More in: Uncategorized, Random Silliness

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